Whoof, three years since I’ve been here. A lot has happened, graduated from college, got a job, lost my gallbladder…
None of it really explains or excuses abandoning pretty much all of my projects here though. So, uh, this is gonna get kind of personal so I’ll explain what happened and the plan moving forwards under the cut.
I’ve had chronic depression for at least ten years. Maybe longer but I’ve got memory issues and what I do remember is kind of tainted by the low end malaise of depression. I’ve been suicidal and I’ve been nonfunctional and I’ve been frankly a dick to a lot of people, and while the depression helps explain that last one it doesn’t actually excuse it.
However I’m doing way better now! My family knows what’s up, I’ve got excellent friends helping me through the rougher patches of my life, and the antidepressants don’t fix everything but they help a lot. I’m employed, I haven’t had a rough patch for a while, and I haven’t had ideation for some time now.
But I kind of screwed up a lot in the process. I stopped writing almost entirely for a while, abandoned this blog, abandoned every writing project I’ve ever started, and destroyed some of my own work in ways that weren’t great. I want to start up again, but the bad news is that I’m not going to be resurrecting any of those dead projects. The gundam reviews, Ravana Quest, Inquisition, and the like are going to remain dead.
The good news is that I’m taking steps towards writing professionally again. For now, I’ve got two things under development and one that might be worth taking a look at:
Incident Eliph at Kianid is an interactive fantasy/horror story set in an alternate Ottoman Empire during an alternate World War 1. The audience takes control of Yousuf Oziri, an Ottoman Mulazim in command of a platoon upon the island of Kianid, which in our world sank beneath the waves of the Black Sea around the year 1500.
My Ko-Fi is going to be how I’m monetizing this stuff for now. If I manage to stay on a regular schedule and people seem interested I’ll likely be starting a patreon in January. Otherwise it’ll serve as supplemental income while I try to get a short story done for Takwin‘s launch. If you like my work, want to see art commissioned for it, or want me to actually update regularly, I highly recommend donating.
And if you don’t want to wait on the possibility of a project never finishing, I have a Dungeons and Dragons 5e adventure on DM’s Guild. It Hungers, a horror-themed oneshot that only costs a buck.